Purdue Fun! and a bit of nerves

Yesterday and today I was at Purdue visiting friends.  I'm had a WONDERFUL time! My final conclusion is that IU is sooo much better!!! (except for the food courts).  ;)

There are no new updates except the confirmation that I won't be getting a third opinion.  My oncologist feels that even though they are not 100% sure that it isn't melanoma, they are not 100% sure that its not, so it would be better for me to error on the safe side and get the surgery.  This makes sense to me and I'm still relieved that I have a solid plan.  The surgery is scheduled for the 14th of September which is next Tuesday.  Yesterday I got very nervous lying in bed, realizing that I would have the surgery in a week.  Before now it always seemed like a long way away, but now its coming up really fast.  I guess that's good so I can just get this over with.

I love you all SO much and can't wait to have this done and over with. Thank you everyone for all the thoughts and prayers.

Rollercoaster

Well I was wrong about having no updates for a couple more days.  My mom called the doctor who gave us the second opinion (in Chicago) to make sure that the slides were getting sent to get the genetic testing that he had suggested.  He then told us that the slides were shipped in the wrong packaging and were busted.  yeah.....so he is going to try and put the pieces together to see if there is some way to look at them correctly, but he believes that there is no way we are going to be able to get the genetic testing because of the condition the slides are in.
I'm feeling again very frustrated.  I feel like when I finally get a handle on how things are going there is always yet another obstacle in the way.  Those slides are very important in letting doctors know how to treat this.
Another update is that we called my oncologist about the genetic testing and he said that whether or not the test comes out positive or negative for melanoma, there (to him) is not enough evidence or reliability to say that its not cancer.  He suggests that I would get the surgery no matter what the genetic results were.
That is not really what I wanted to hear because I had started getting a glimpse of hope that I would not have the surgery however I feel MUCH better knowing that I have a plan for the future. It is comforting knowing what will happen next week even if its not what I had hoped for.  (If we could just keep it that way, it would be great.)
Ohhhh what a rollercoaster....

Off to Purdue today to see some friends!

Uneventful Day

No new updates today.  I feel like it will probably be that way for a few more days at least.  We are still trying to decide the best place to get a third opinion and are really hoping to get it this week because my surgery is scheduled for the 14th.
As I'm still waiting and still unsure of how this is all going to turn out, I've been encouraged with the verse in Ephesians, "I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised..." Ephesians 1:18  As always it is not the easiest thing to see the unplanned future as wonderful, but it is so great to know that it will be.

Today I swept and dusted the house then cleaned my bathroom and room. (too much information probably), then I worked at the pool. Last day of the summer!  Other than that, I've just hung out at home with the family.  Uneventful day, but that's ok!  yay rhyming.

Thanks again to all who have written me, messaged me, texts, phone calls, they mean the world to me!

Patience

No new updates yet.  We are looking to get a third opinion this week, possibly at IU, so that we have hopefully two opinions that match up.  I'm still not enjoying the waiting for results, but I guess patience is a good thing to exercise every once in a while. ;)
This weekend has been great.  Luckily I've gotten to work some and friends came home for Labor Day weekend and did a good job entertaining me. :)  I've started trying to learn how to cook things other than pasta and chocolate chip cookies and my grandma gave me lots of recipes. That should keep me somewhat occupied as well.
I'm looking forward to visiting at Purdue, Butler and IU this week!

Love Love Love and Thanks to everyone for your support on this rollercoaster.

Waiting

These next few days/ weeks will be a lot of waiting for the results but I've finally started letting go of the plans I had for myself and trusting that whatever happens will be better. (Doesn't mean I've let go all the way or feel it all the time, but I'm getting there) Yesterday I enjoyed the BEAUTIFUL weather with my grandma then watched a magnificent sunset on Eagle Creek Reservoir. I realized I wouldn't have gotten do to either of these things had I stayed at IU. I'm slowly beginning to see the possibilities I have being home rather than feeling disappointed about it.  I'm hoping the results come in quickly, but until then I plan on making the best of being home and am very excited to visit friends from Purdue, Butler and IU.

Speechless....

Today I got up very early to drive to a doctor in northern Chicago for a second opinion.  When my oncologist set this up, he said most likely the opinion would be the same and it would just be a nice confirmation for my parents that what we are doing (the surgery and treatment) is the right thing to do.  I was speechless and confused when he had a slightly different outlook on my situation.
This doctor told me that he still wasn't sure it was, in fact, melanoma....I had been told a week ago by another doctor that if I was his daughter I would have been in for surgery yesterday.... WHAT?!  Anyway, he said that there was a new test that has just come out and has been proven very reliable.  He wants to take the lymph node and skin samples and test a certain gene structure in them.  He said that in 90% of melanoma a certain gene structure is present.  If the genes structure is there, I will still have the surgery and in HIS mind be diagnosed with melanoma.  If it turns out that the gene structure is not there, then he is willing to say that I do not have melanoma and will not need the surgery.  Here's the kicker.  It takes around 2 weeks to get this test done, which is past the date I have to drop all my classes and keep my scholarship.
Feeling:  Frustrated.  Which is very sad I know, considering I just found out there is a small chance that I don't have skin cancer.  Who wouldn't want that?!  I just feel like a puppet with these doctors.  I don't really know who to trust or what to believe anymore.  More than anything I'm tired of waiting for results. I don't want to get my hopes up again for something that may not be true.  It is also frustrating if it isn't melanoma that I would have to go through any of the tears, phone calls, blood tests, dropping the semester, worrying, worrying all of you.  It just doesn't seem fair.   I wish I was feeling a little more thankful than I am right now.  I know it may be good news, I'm just again feeling very out of control.

I love you all and I'm sorry that this isn't the happiest of my writings.
Love your friend,
Rachel

GOOD NEWS! :)

The spot on my tibia is just a benign bony structure and NOTHING to worry about. :) Its been a while since I've gotten all good news, so I'm feeling very happy.  Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers!
Much love,
Rachel